content: trauma, ghostly possession, torment, plural/multiple systems

Xinh felt cold, and no matter what she did, she couldn't keep warm.

The party was finally headed north, after assisting in the town's recovery and making travel plans. The tower at the north of the town Berem, or what was left of it, was still in view, a slightly smoldering wreckage of its former, ominous self.

The nimble adventurer pushed to the front of the pack of travelers with a monk's agility, forward past Luug, the stalwart half-orc, who had been attempting to repurpose his battering ram as a walking stick. Even setting aside the din he was making, she did not entirely trust the fighter's well-intentioned navigation. This despite his claim that he could "try to walk backwards an' maybe try ta remember where to put my feet, but in backwards-like, and we can get back to tha lake we saw and start lookin from there do ya think?" She felt it best to take point, putting her expert mapping skills to work, but conceded to let Luug continue attempting to think in reverse. Sometimes it was easier to just nod and say "you betcha."

As they started scaling one of the hills sheltering the peninsula, she looked back towards town, now toy-like in the distance. The late wizard Forgeborne's experiment had proven fatal, and the party's encounter with the overly ambitious mage nearly disastrous. His mindflayer allies (or perhaps masters) had fled, and the black hole he was wielding had imploded, leveling the structure and scattering large chunks of rubble into the town and harbor below. More importantly, the diminuitive sorcerer Mirriana had seen a massive shadow emerge from the wreckage, spreading wings that occluded the stars in the midnight sky as it made an escape. She tried to imagine the creature's purported scale against the smudge of gray that was the distant tower and shivered, pulling her cloak closer around her.

Of course, Xinh was recollecting second-hand; the last thing she earnestly remembered when they confronted the mage was being accreted into the event horizon, feeling the plane's grip on her slip away, and being thrust into utter darkness. With her last pinhole of consciousness, she had nocked an arrow, tied herself to it with rope, and loosed it into the unvarying abyss. She had closed her eyes as she felt the rope go slack. Next thing she knew, it was daylight, and she was on the ground in the middle of the town square, her party staring down at her with concerned faces. What had happened? How had she...

Xinh jumped as she felt a tug at her pantleg, and looked back, then down. Yft, the goblin cleric who served as their healer, had run up from further back, and was waving a slice of something that looked like jerky at her with a toothy grin.

"Thanks." She accepted it with a forced smile of her own, and as Yft ran back to join Mirri in the cart, she gave it a surreptitious sniff to confirm that the meat was of sensible origin. Her eye twitched as she pondered the fate of their mule Strawberry... she could clearly see that the firbolg Ardenti was now pulling their cart, with little effort, talking animatedly to no one in particular about the spells in their spellbook. She pocketed the snack, pledging to make a call on its palatability later.

She shook her head and faced forward, mentally and physically putting the town of Berem behind them. For the party to track this creature down, she would have to keep her wits. It wasn't the memory of the suffocating abyss that haunted Xinh, though, nor their shadowy new quarry. She knew what haunted her, and dread crept deeper in her chest as she remembered the predicament she was now in. It had been three days since they had ransacked the monastery to seek answers in the dungeons below, and since that day, the ghost of that lost adventurer had been with her. Within her. And she hadn't been warm since.

---

The sun had set, camp had been made, and Xinh found herself volunteering for the night's first watch. The party had reached the edge of the lake they intended as their first basecamp on the search for the missing creature, which constant chatter and theorizing had transfigured from a dark shape in the night into "definitely a dragon." A dragon, burst from the void.

"Could such a thing even exist?" Xinh thought to herself. She angled her quarterstaff and kicked it with a practiced motion, sending a shore pebble skipping into the water. She watched for for its final ripple with keen eyes.

What a joke.

She glanced over towards camp, a set of humble tents erected haphazardly, surrounding a central fire, still smoking with the grease of their supper. Ras, the seven foot six elephantman that she had called friend for several years, was standing center, flipping through a tiny notebook and muttering in his native Loxodon tongue. She remembered the book was filled with protection and detection charms he had picked up as an arcane hobbyist. It pays to be cautious, she supposed, and as he was the party's expert rogue, though a very visually confusing one, she trusted his instincts on how to remain undetected by others on their first night.

Others aren't the only thing they needed to worry about.

She spotted Luug coming out of his tent, looking paler than his usual green self, and hobbling further into the woods holding his stomach. Immediately upon reaching the lake, Luug had felt the need to fish, which for him meant wading into the water and challenging fish to contests of strength. To her surprise, he had takers, and a very odd rescue had ensued to free him from a pack of large, vicious octopuses also desiring a meal. Successfully slaying one obviously meant that it was to be dinner for the proud fool, and while the others ate the vegetable stew that Xinh insisted she prepare, Luug enjoyed his chewy, blackened spoils of battle. He was about to enjoy it a second time, she supposed. Second watch was now also her responsibility.

Lucky you.

Xinh shook her head of errant thoughts. "It's fine, just as well, more time to think." She pulled her gloves tighter onto her hands, breathing into them for the memory of warmth, and set off to find a good lookout.

---

As she put each foot forward, Xinh's objective began to fade. She wandered, her own thoughts loud and discordant, but fleeting and echoing down unfamiliar hallways in her mind. Contradictory. Her fatigue from days past must have been catching up to her.

You'll figure it out soon.

She looked up for what she realized was the first time and found herself surrounded by unfamiliar trees. The stark lack of moonlight was immediately disorienting, and yet she had somehow strayed so far from camp; she could no longer hear the movement of water or the crackle of the fire, those had been replaced with the rustle of leaves from the canopy and a cacophony of insects. How much time had passed? Fear swept over her, and she shook, not from the cold, but from suddenly apparent mistake. This wasn't right. She spun around, looking for any familiar landmark. She felt herself starting to panic, like the pathetic girl she was, she--

"Lost, are we?"

Everything fell into place, like a precious ring dropped into a deep well, or like Xinh's heart into her stomach. She understood, and the panic in the forest faded away, replaced by ... aggression. Flight turned to fight. If she concentrated, she could perceive the shape of her thoughts, and she started prying them out, setting them aside from the others. The ones belonging to...

"Misra."

There she was, stood in front of her. Not literally, but as if dreamt vividly, no more corporeal than the day she had seen her ghostly form haunting the monastery dungeons. A spellcaster of roughly her age, with dark hair like Xinh's, but long and undamaged by sun, porcelain pale skin, and eyes that glowed a deep shifting hue.

Xinh glared. "We're lost. Why did you do this? Why did you bring me here?"

"Do I need a reason to go on a walk with my new best friend?" Misra flashed a smile. "I was wondering when you were gonna finally notice. Besides, I couldn't sleep."

When Misra spoke, Xinh felt the lightest sensation of her mouth twitching, her arms feigning to gesticulate without her consent. She crushed the sensations in her muscles, gripping her quarterstaff tight with both hands. She blinked exhaustion away. "That's not funny."

"Oh it's a gift, dear. There's nothing that sleep can do for me anymore, and you'll learn to live without it in time. You'll see."

Xinh had been fighting to sleep for the past three days, but to no avail. Instead, she only remembered her unshut eyes, soaking in darkness, her mind spinning with questions, loudest of all, "Why is this happening?" It was obvious, of course, but only on the second day did Misra find it fit to tell her: not only did she not require sleep, she could not be forced to sleep by any means. And, it seems, the same was now true for Xinh. But...

"No! I'm not the same as you! I don't have your stupid magic or powers, I'm just a normal person. You know it isn't fair, I can't live like this!"

"Ooh, are you upset? Don't you trust me to know best? You're supposed to be the trusting type, aren't you? After all, you volunteered." Misra circled Xinh lazily, regarding the darkening forest with indifference, maybe slight disdain.

"W-we-- I..." Xinh stuttered. She had, in fact. The miserable spirit in the tomb had pleaded with the party to help her feel again, to just feel warm for a moment. Without question, Xinh had stepped forward with hand outstretched and pulled her close, and the biting cold had swept over her for the first time. Misra was alive again, and Xinh was shunted aside.

She had watched, as if through a spyglass, as her body greedily ate an apple out of her rations and described the monsters that had been inhabiting the rooms deeper below. She had heard herself explain her own death, with a group of adventurers that had passed through those same dungeons many decades ago. And as the possession ended, thrust back into her shell, she was left feeling hollow, and her thoughts had remained with the poor soul. As the rest of the party put the ghost out of their minds, she had silently vowed to find a way to free her. But now...

"I'd take it back if I could," she spat. "If I knew what you were."

"Oh hush, you wouldn't. Lying doesn't suit you." Suddenly, Misra had walked them elsewhere. Moonlight shone through here, cutting a jagged beam that illuminated a grassy clearing. Xinh could not tell whether this was closer to camp, and the light here made the surrounding wood seem all the more dark. Misra seemed unconcerned. "I've watched you. You have these... ideals. Compassion. You've always wanted to give your life for a complete stranger, and look -- here I am! All you needed to see was a poor, defeated soul hovering at the foot of her own grave, remembered and loved by no one, and you let me in without a second thought. If you had any spine, this wouldn't have been so easy."

"It's not weak to care for others," Xinh hissed through teeth. She wanted to turn away, but Misra's voice followed, and she settled for dropping to her knees, letting her staff drop beside her. "My party cares. They'll know something is wrong. They'll help me."

"Them?" Misra let out a halting and dry laugh. "So tell me, where's your wizard gone? Up and left, probably nosedeep in some tome a continent away. They cared not for you, much less this adventure of yours. Their kind, above all, lack ambition.

"And, let's see, what do we have left? Two dimwit brigands, a magical liability, a pacifist, and a cutpurse. A motley gathering of freaks. You know, you're gonna fit in after all."

Xinh choked back a sob, realizing that Misra had started speaking through her mouth. "You won't hurt them... I won't let you..."

She felt impatience stab back at her. "Pfeh. You think even if I wanted to, you could stop me? Their usefulness will reveal itself to me soon. But you, girl. You have no magic, no real talent. You prance, you prattle; you're a navel-gazer with a stick. I'm a warlock. And soon, you'll see which one of us is better suited for this wretched world."

Xinh felt tears flow and allowed herself to mistake unconsciousness for sleep.

---

Cold. Still always cold. The desperate desire to be warm, to feel a stoked fire or a warm bed, compelled her back to lucidity.

"Wh... what are you..."

"Oh, you're still here?" On her face was a stranger's smirk, and she was confused why she could perceive it. She rummaged-- no... actually... she watched herself rummage through her travel pack, looking for something.

"In the front pocket..." Why had she said that?

"Oh thank you, darling. We love a cooperative host."

Xinh coalesced and found herself displaced. Her thoughts were clear, but in regards to her form, it was in front of her, holding her notebook with an unimpressed look.

Misra flipped through the pages of the worn, handbound book. "Ah, we have an artistic side. Little illustrations of your wonderful adventures." Her voice dripped with feigned interest. "The town. The monastery. Is this a donkey? ... is this what passes for a peasant's most treasured memories? Oh, it's a diary too..."

"Stop it," Xinh muttered. Her voice echoed against the air, thin and without origin. "You're not gonna get to me."

"Oh, I think it's too late to be so offish with me. We're going to have to learn to share." She turned the book over, then opened it upside-down, to the first (last) page. "This will have to do."

Misra clapped their hands, and sparks caught into a viridian flame that engulfed their palms. Their eyes glowed like Misra's, and a hungry grin ached as it spread across their face. Xinh stared as their hands moved with ancient practice, weaving flame in the air before them into an intricate glyph, and she heard their voice ring out:

"VLAAKITH, O QUEEN LICH, THE UNDYING,
YOU WRETCHED, RUINOUS HAG.
WHAT MEAGER POWER ONCE YOU GAVE AND GUARDED, I NOW TAKE FREELY.
NO MORE SYCOPHANTIC WORSHIP. MY BOND TO YOU IS ENDED.
FRESHLY FEAR MY RETURN, AND LET OUR AMBITIONS MEET IN BLOOD!"

Xinh winced at both the damning words leaving their mouth and the circle of runes before them glowing impossibly bright. She felt Misra's intense concentration and fury pouring out, eyes transfixed, and then her distinct glee as the book slowly rose from the ground and started flipping through pages violently, motes of light coating its cover and fiery glyphs searing into its pages. Until as suddenly as the first green spark, the glyphs disappeared, and the book snapped shut, hitting the ground with a thud.

The smell of sulphur hung thick in the air, and the afterimage of the glyphs was burned into their vision. Misra reached forward to inspect the book, and as she flipped open the first page, now inscribed with language that Xinh somehow found familiar, and it was evident her ritual had worked; she now had a Book of Shadows.

"Much improved, don't you think? Oh, come now... look." Xinh had almost gotten used to her incorporeal state, but felt her head being forced downwards, her eyes being made to focus. She flinched and whimpered at the sudden force. She endured Misra's focus on pouring over... rituals. Pact magic. Requirements. Effects. As she read some particularly gruesome spells, Xinh fell silent.

Misra cackled. "It's here. I can't believe it's all here. No more bond. All my work. I don't serve her anymore. I serve MYSELF! I don't need her anymore. I don't need..."

Her focus turned inward.

"Now you understand, girl." Her tone turned sour, and there was no smirk in their voice. They slowly stood. "This changes things, see? Without the Book, I was weak. Still a match for you, but between a pitiful existence being your doppelganger and securing my own life again..."

Their wrist flicked, and the book in their other hand flipped open. It opened to a page that looked torn from another, hastily grafted in, printed on different parchment and in a strange flowing script. A rippling glow emanated from the book, and Xinh felt their features also start to ripple. She felt creases on their face shift, bones twisting into place. She cried out, not in pain, but in abject horror. She wished she could rip herself from where they stood. She felt, mixed in with her fear for a brief moment, Misra's intentional cruelty. And when the rippling energy stopped and the book shut, the pale form of her tormentor stood in their place.

"You could never stand in my way. Do you understand?"

Xinh said nothing.

"Answer me, girl. Do you--" With a burst of desperation, Xinh smacked the book out of their hands. With sudden, extreme strain, she turned around and started moving, begging her legs to take her back to camp, one step at a time. The next thing she felt was a burning stake being driven into her mind. She screamed -- this time, it was the pain -- and immediately fell to the ground midstride, clutching her skull, fighting to even see.

When the searing pain had subsided, Misra spoke first, their voice hoarse.

"That's what you get, you bitch," she growled. "Hnngh... I'll hurt you as much as necessary, you hear? Until you know your place."

It was Xinh that opened their eyes in realization. "You... have to hurt yourself in order to hurt me." She stared at the grass beside her head and brushed it with her fingertips. "Now I know. You can't threaten me. I'll always know, you're in as much pain as I am."

Misra snapped. "What do you know about pain?!" Without the poise she displayed earlier, she slapped each foot down and got them standing. "I've been in your head, there's nothing compared to what I've been through."

"Yeah -- agh -- I haven't gotten myself killed yet," Xinh shot back. "The great warlock died in the basement of a shoddy, broken-down temple. Must've been scary."

"You don't know me one bit, monk, and much less could you understand. But you... in three days waiting I've learned everything there is to know about your simpleton life. I see... family."

What?

"A well, an ox, next to a dirty, thatched barn."

Her drawings? No, not that... she could feel Misra traipsing through her mind, leaving a burgled mess.

"Three siblings and no father... mother struggling to make ends meet."

"Stop it, what do you care?"

"And the eldest daughter does what to help exactly? Runs away from home to travel the world. To be a monk. An adventurer."

"I said stop it!"

"You selfish child. Surely one less mouth to feed was consolation enough to convince yourself to abandon them. When was the last time that you wrote? Or that they wrote back?"

"No! No... they... they said it was ok. They were happy for me..."

"Or maybe happy to see you go."

I... I send them gold, by raven..." Her tears again rolled down their cheeks.

"Do you think that makes up for your absence? Coin? You've abandoned them. They could be dead, how would you know?" Misra spat.

"STOP IT, JUST STOP." Xinh felt regret. Her past held up to her face to taunt her. For a moment, she allowed herself to wish she could forget, and instead of disappearing into the noise, the thought rang resonant in their mind. Tangibly, a feeling they both could agree on.

An awkward silence hung in the air. They sat hunched forward, nursing their head. The insects droned.

Xinh reached deep into herself and spoke first. "And you?"

"What?"

"You were an adventurer like me, before... y'know. You travelled like me."

"I did."

If she pulled at the thread of that regret, Xinh felt like she could follow it. Back to the farm, or the last look she gave her mother, but past that, the thread led to unfamiliar, old memories. She felt as if they were cold from disuse, pushed out of sight, but they revealed themselves to her as easily as her own.

"You had a party."

Misra chose silence.

"You had... four companions. You travelled as mercenaries, fighters for good... or for coin. Good at it, too. You were heroes. You were a hero. And you were so passionate--"

"I was strong."

"Y-yes."

"Stronger than all of them."

"But you weren't just -- wait. That's not right... you were a wizard before?"

"Was. It no longer matters." Misra had them pacing restlessly back and forth.

"You wanted more, you weren't satisfied. So you found... your mistress? You begged a lich for her power. Misra, why? I just want to understand."

The pacing stopped. A deep breath. "... We were taking on too much. The work was becoming treacherous. Our party's infamy brought us before lords and ladies, powerful warlords that wanted dragons slain."

"Figuratively? Or..." Xinh felt perhaps not.

"I needed to be stronger, I took the power she offered, I became stronger. It's a simple thing."

"Making a pact with a lich is no simple thing. You don't just get power, you risk your very soul."

"What would you know? You haven't the faintest idea what you would do in my place. Enough, I'm through."

But Xinh tugged on regret. "But something happened. You fought, your friends didn't agree with your decision." Xinh felt the shape of a horrible knot of rejection. Their jealousy -- no -- concern -- no -- their cowardice, what weakling rejects power offered to them -- ugh -- she shook her head and steered clear of Misra's spiraling thoughts. "They thought it was wrong. They were afraid of you."

Misra spun around and snapped at air. "We were stronger for it. They resented me, but they didn't resent the gold. From then on they just slowed me down."

"I can tell when you're lying to me. It hurt you."

Xinh steeled herself for another biting remark, but none came. She pulled deeper still; she could feel the edge of understanding. What was Misra holding so close to her chest?

"The monastery."

"I do you a favor by speaking your final warning aloud."

"The five of you ventured deep downward. There was... a fight. An ambush. Illithids. Mind flayers."

"Stay out, girl. It is truly none of your cursed business."

"The party fought back. I see a crypt, no, the crypt. Where I found you, where you fought. You held your own, but your friends, they..."

And everything fell into place.

"You cast a spell. You raised dozens of corpses from the crypt, you made an army to protect them. It took the last of your magic. And they were horrified. They... gods, they ran from them. They ran from you."

At the core, a final hardened memory persisted. Xinh pushed the memory forward laboriously, seeing it through Misra's eyes. The last of her retreating party in sight, past a wall of skeletal corpses crumbling under the mind flayers' attack. A woman carrying a longbow; dark brown hair, elven ears, looking back with teary green eyes, and then finally disappearing from view. And she felt unmistakable, crushing heartbreak.

"You wanted to protect her. She left you to die, and you loved her."

Misra screamed a tortured scream and leaped out of their body and forward, propelling her fingers around Xinh's neck. Her ghostly face was a picture of absolute wrath, cracking porcelain wet with tears, staring down an identical face painted instead with shock. Misra meant to end her.

It was an icy moment before Xinh realized that she alone held her breath, and felt nothing but cold at Misra's grasp. That and the painfully clear echo of Misra's last memory. And she saw Misra's wrath visibly dissolve on her face, smearing into massive grief as she sank to her knees and wept.

The two both knelt in the clearing. It was silent, save for Misra's halting sobs.

In the face of her first opportunity to act, Xinh was conflicted. She felt the urge to run, but a stronger urge stayed her feet, the urge to ... do what, exactly? Misra wasn't... this, she had tormented her for days. What could she even do?

For an eternity, Xinh hesitated, then slowly knelt down to Misra, making her best effort to embrace her. Slowly, she heard her crying steady and quiet down to slow shuddering breaths. Once more like before, she gave herself to comfort the forsaken spirit.

---

Xinh regained consciousness to a firm shake, and Ardenti was kneeling above her, checking her for wounds. "Oh gods, you're awake. What are you doing all the way out here? Hey, hey guys! I found her!"

The night had passed without incident, but third watch had necessitated a search for the party's missing monk. Soon, Ras and Yft came running to the clearing as well, as Ardenti lifted Xinh to her feet. She touched her face and felt a familiar cheekbone, nose, and jaw. She spoke no words, only nodding to reassure them that she was unharmed and using the light of sunrise to lead the way back to camp. As the edge of the lake emerged from the treeline, she made a beeline for her tent, pushing past Luug, Mirriana, and their questions. She needed time to think.

She spent some time shaking her head, attempting to loose stuck thoughts, hoping that they would land in a more sorted state. Desperately, she found herself meditating, a practice she had neglected since her training at the temple. Her mind felt relatively uncrowded, and though she liked the solitude, there was a concern that was overwhelming her. She struck inward with her thoughts, and in her quieted mind, she reached out to Misra. When she received a non-verbal nudge in return, she was surprised by the feeling she felt: relief.

Outside, the concerned party had swapped their notes about the incident, then dispersed to start breaking down camp and preparing for the tracking down of their mysterious quarry, with or without their mapper. An hour passed, and nearly two, before Xinh emerged from her tent and gathered the party around her.

"We... well, I... um." Xinh struggled to explain. "Last night, I..." No, she thought, this won't do. So, she conferred inward, and then, with joint effort, clasping their hands in front of them, the warlock's ghost appeared as a silvery apparition beside her.

Before a stunned audience, Xinh cleared her throat.
"Everyone? This is Misra. She'd like to join our party."